Self-Pity Diminishes


“Are you right to be angry?”

~Jonah 4:4, NIV


No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find.

~C. S. Lewis

Frank is a character in C.S. Lewis novel the GREAT DIVORCE. Frank is schizophrenic of sorts: at times he is big and at other times very small, whatever fits his agenda.
Frank’s is an artist at manipulating other people by the use of self-pity. To keep his girl friend Sarah from enjoying herself, Frank will pretend to be sad and dejected {pout]. He would take advantage of her love by pretending that she’d hurt his feelings. Indeed, Frank has a long history of pretending to be sad in order to make other people feel guilty—even as a child he would do so. Frank appears as two different persons, one small (the Dwarf), the other tall (the Tragedian). The Dwarf represents Frank’s inner life: his self-hatred, and his manipulative tendencies. The Tragedian, on the other hand, represents the “image” of pain and sadness that Frank tries to project in order to make other people feel guilty. Frank was a con-artist, a master at blackmailing others in to feeling sorry for him.

No one likes me… I can’t do anything right. I am a failure. Everyone dumps on me… Everything is my fault… No one helps me: I am a black sheep…I don’t have any friends: These are all phrase often repeated by those who are into self-loathing and pity. I know I shouldn’t mention Rodney Dangerfield but I do like some of his stories. He said his son came to him whining about being unloved: he said to Rodney, “Dad, no one like me.” Rodney said, “Shut up boy, everyone has not meet you.” I know that sounds cold but self-pity and self-loathing is sickening. If you are a victim, that is your choice; it is not a societal problem, it is a personal problem. Grow up, take responsibility for your actions. The more you whine and complain about your unfortunate lot and how everyone has crapped on you, the more nauseating you become to others.

Every time Frank used his self-pity ploy to manipulate others, he grew smaller in statue but Frank did not relent, he kept feeling sorry for himself until no one could see him. Every time he practiced self-pity it made him smaller until he could not be seen at all. These self-pity addicts demand attention to the point that everyone begins to ignore them as if there are not there. All people have problems and no one wants to hear you whine and complain. When we persist on calling attention to our poor pitiful selves, we drive people away. To have friends, you have to be one and that means forgetting yourself, at least for a few minutes.

Happy Labor Day

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